"The Pits"
  Brands Hatch March 08

Well here it is, the first of a series of articles that I hope you will enjoy as much as my "Back O' the Grid" race reports. Tho race report seems something of a misnomer for the libellous ramblings that were the BOTG's.

"The Pits" also seems like an appropriate name for our 08 season opener at Brands given the weather. If we have to start racing in March let us at least hold it somewhere warm n sunny like Cartagena or Estoril. I'm sure Wayne Bullen would let us borrow one of his Norfolk Line ferries - as long as Rangi doesn't drive. I'm not sure if you can high-side a ferry, but that, to Rangi, is only a challenge - and probably the sort of insurance claim that would have Lloyds brokers leaping from the roof. So I'm certain that Wayne's response would be to quote his lines motto "Norfolk n' Chance"

This year I am doing a bit of scruitineering, having passed the ACU Technical Officer course at Brands in deepest, darkest January. In keeping with modern education methods the actual written test was about as difficult as a multiple choice spelling test. This explains why Daz hasnt become a scruitineer, Floyd being the only male in that household whose lips dont move while reading - usually to Daz as it turns out.

So there I was at 3 on Friday afternoon about to scrute my first bike and feeling a little nervous about it. By this time we already had a banged up bike propped on the railings with its rider now sporting a nasty fracture following brake failure. However as a matter of course the senior Scrutes will double check your first few bikes and I had passed a couple that were in breach of the rules. The irony of that is not lost on someone who always had a hard time believing the rules applied to them. A few words from one of the experienced Scrutes helped me settle into a method and I then started to fail bikes like an old hand.

It was at this point I started to get a little deja vu, when the same excuses I used when being scrutineere'd would be trotted out. "It was like that all last season!" always a perenial favourite, as was, "You're the first to notice that". Mostly it was for simple stuff like bars trapping hands on full lock or bars n levers hitting the fairing. In all but one case I checked the bike over but kept the card till the issue was fixed - the one I failed didn't have a shark fin covering the chain run. What it did have, or appeared to have, was tetanus shot written all over it. There's nothing in the regs about presenting a clean bike, but turning up on a rusty old nail with ragged edges on the pegs, bungs and lock wire tails sticking out is not going to endear you to the tech officials.

On the plus side I get a free breakfast, tho on Sat morning this was "to go" as I was detailed to go on recovery i.e. lobbing your shed into the back of the van once you have binned it. You have no idea how popular the YPM's are with the guys who do this. However the class leaders are the 600's. I was rolling another gasper as they went out for practice and was told to smoke it fast. Paddock rumour is that they all think they are Jamie Whitham, and that may be true, just look at the number of times he crashed.

Our first customer of the day was an MZ, I dont want to get too technical but it looked like the drive belt to the mowing blades had broke. Next up was a "Super Weaner" who binned it out of Graham Hill and then had a major "hissy fit" as he trudged off leaving the corner marshalls to pick up his now very bent 125. By the time we got him and the bike in the van he looked like he was close to tears. I asked if this was his first crash and he replied "No, I crashed at Mallory last week". My sympathy was reserved for his dad who was now going to have to fix it, again.

It was interesting to see a race weekend from the other side of things and to listen to race control co-ordinate with the corner marshalls, Big Bird down in the collecting area and the race office. You don't need me to tell you that the Bemsee marshalls and officials turn out weekend after weekend, in all weathers, to do a sterling job so that we all can indulge in our favourite pastime.

Now while circuit owners are constantly striving to make their tracks an ever safer place to race it is in the nature of things that the safety of any corner or part of the track is only tested when someone actually crashes there. This in effect makes us all "crash test dummies". I think I would be remiss if I did not bring to light the need for immediate improvements at Brands. The run off out of the tunnel is just plain inadequate, as our very own "Crash Test Dummy" proved on Sat. I think from here on in we should rename the tunnel "Rangi's". Its one you wont find on any circuit guide, but if you need advice on how to tackle it - you know who not to ask.

So that was the season opener, next up is Donington, which I shall miss, but I will be Scrutineering again at Snett and looking forward to seeing you all there, especially Bally n Rab in the Scrutineering bay. My "Project GPzEddie" is still, as I type, a large pile of expensive bits sitting in the corner of Nigel Kimbers workshop. Paying for him to turn it into one piece of fire breathing, retro racing "green meanie" may necessitate getting a paper round or offering "Scrutineering" in the privacy of your own awning and being obliged to do "extras". All going to plan I hope to be out with the Classics in late May at Lydden and probably managing a couple of "Thunderbike" rounds with Bemsee - possibly Kwaa and Oulton.

This is George Watson for "The Pits" sharpening my best crayon, see you all at Snett.