Racing with Bmcrc

Colonel Strikes back !!
  Croix-en-Ternois June 11th/12th


I know! I KNOW!!

Rocking horse droppings are more frequent than my race reports!.....but,when you are Valentino Rossi's Grandad!...(a fellow YPMer gave me that moniker!!)...your life is VERY busy with Tesco shopping trips etc. etc.

I STILL don't know about eee's mail and cutting the paste with the mustard...or whatever it is...so,I'll just write it from the hip right here!!

Small Chap Paul...(me master engineer guru little oik)....Little Lin...(me glorious love and supporter and lots of other stuff that keeps me sane).....and myself, were gonna be taking the 12.30 Norfolkline steamer to Dunkerque...to arrive in the French France....to allow enough time to set up our Massif ready for the Friday Testing Day.

The ferry was inhabited by loads of fellow YPMers and their entourages and Philipus Perilous Poldeness....who resolutely refused to entertain us with his sea faring exploits aboard Essex fishing barges!

But,he did hop around a bit when I said our ferry seemed to be playing a game of chicken with a very large cargo ship mid Channel!

On emerging in yer Frenchland.....Perilous snuck in behind us....as we forged our way driving on the wrong side of the road towards the Kwa circuitry.

We came across a large YPM convoy on the A16 motorway thingie....and we overtook the massive trans-continental biking pikeys.....and forged ahead!

The convoy included a couple of fast YPM chaps (Andy Ball and Pete Fishwick)...and I mused to myself whether this could be an omen for the weekends racing!!

Just then....a confusing array of motorway signs came up..and, yours truly, managed to take the wrong turning admidst the confusion and take the road back to Calais!

The Essex Polden, using us as his guide to the circuit,obviously turned off with us.

But..in my mirrors..I saw the VAST following YPM group, take the same wrong turn too!!

Realising that we needed to turn round...I found the nearest turn off and headed down the slip road to a roundabout underneath.

We must have been too far ahead of the following YPMers....'cos,as we reached the roundabout underneath...I could see them all passing by above...eyes grimly on the road ahead!

Except, Andy Ball!......who,as he passed by above....glanced down...did a double take!...looked ahead again...then looked back down at us....with a kind of..."YOU BASTADS" expression on his face! biggrin.gif

That's got rid of some of me main oppostion I said...even tho it was by mistake!

Anyway!

We eventually arrived at the circuit.....just as I imagined that the lost YPMers were finding the right road!

We made camp in the left hand paddock...where we knew there was accessible lecky to power our massive hostility unit...and for tyre warmers!

Perilous...after a couple of hours debating,discussing and moving his van about...set up next to us!

I was gagging for an ale.....then I don't remember much...so, I'll hop to the test day!

I've got into the habit of having new tyres for each meeting...and using the tyres from the last meeting...for the test day of the next......!?

In other words....I was gonna use the tyres from the last Cadwell race meet....for the Kwa test day!.....then put new rubber on for the Sat and Sun races.

It is a bit expensive doing this...but,it's a head thing for me!

Those tiny contact patches of rubber...are the only thing between being a hero...or a zero..in my mind!

Anyway...who needs holidays nowadays!

I haven't had one for 7 years!....and find I'm not affected at all about not relaxing on a nice beach...sipping Champers...wandering thru wonderous scenery...chilling out on a beautiful island....holding hands with me girlie watching a lovely sunset........

Maybe I could afford a weekend at Butlins......sometime....

BUT...I digress!

Due to extensive testing from the Yamanana crew..we have found that...we have used the same gearing for the last 4 rounds!

Brands...Cadwell...Lydden....even Snetters,I think!....we used the same gearing!!

And so it turned out for Croix!

Paul rejetted the bike a couple of times...as the humidity rose and fell...and I concentrated on finding the optimum braking and turning in markers.

There were no real dramas all day.....except...for when Perilous offered me his opinion!

Us YPMers had been split between two groups for the test day...and I was out with the 400's.

Phil had been following me in one session...and remarked about how early I'd braked for the left hand long hairpin just down from the squirt from the start finish straight.

"Hmmm"....I thought to meself. It was the only corner that I hadn't really got sorted in me mind...so I made the point of concentrating on that corner in the next session.

I'd been braking at the 150 metre board up till then....and decided to try a point halfway between that and the 100 metre board.

In other words...at 125 metres....or...where I got a glimpse of the wall to the right where the marshalled were postioned.

Hammering up to the corner...I was looking for the marker when,out of the corner of my eye...I spied a Rookie 400 in the gravel ahead,being assisted by a marshal........

By the time my eyes returned to where my braking marker should have been...the 100 metre board went flying by!!!

"SHHHHHHHHHhhhhhugar".......I uttered....and jammed on the anchors big time!!

I headed straight off the circuit...doing a big stoppie...right towards the recovering 400 and marshal!

Luckily I was able to control the situation enough...and missed everyone concerned and was able to get back on track and finish the session!

Needless to say.....I decided on an alternative braking point...for the races!

Which brings me to them!

As mentioned before....new rubber was installed via the splendid Alan Russell and his crew....(Alan had a brilliant racing weekend himself,by the way! Three wins and a second...I believe!!).....

I have a hand power file that I use to scrub the tyres in,prior to going on circuit...and use the 3 or 4 or whatever lap practice we have on the race morning to make sure the tyres are working well.

Then I can forget about them!

For the first race on Saturday I was gridded 4th on the front row...my Championship position...and was alongside young Dave Hallett (Minkey Boy), Daz Mowat and John Puk...the Champion from last year.

All those chaps are seriously fast geezas....with Minkey Lad in particular being right on the ball...and leading the Championship.

Both him and Daz, I considered my main oppostion on the front row of this Kwa meeting.....with John being thereabouts....but, I believed his 350 LC would prove a bit lacking in the braking and turning department, what with all the hairpins that make up the infield of Kwa. And it turned out that I was correct....'cos John struggled a bit all weekend.

But....other major oppostion was lurking on the row behind...in the shape of Rik Ballerini !!

He had missed the first two...three? meetings...while he sorted out buying and fettling a TZR...ready to do battle again in the YPMers....after having a VERY expensive and unenjoyable time in the 250 GP MRO races last year.

Rik is an awesome talent!....and has won many Championships on all sorts of bikes thru the years.....and has had a string of lap records to his name.

From his first meeting this year at Brands....when he got an 8th,I think, from the back row.....he has won just about every race since!!!

I'd calculated,that if he won all the races this weekend...he would take me 4th place spot in the Championship from me.....AND....me front row starts!!!!

I was focusing all my attention on him!

Just a few more words about Rik....'cos he is certainly,one of the nicest people I've ever met!

Although supremely talented on a motorbike.....he NEVER gloats about his achievements...is always on hand to offer advice and support....has a wonderful giving nature....that comes out big time whenever others need help of whatever kind...and is just so fun loving and great to be around!

I say this....'cos,later on Sunday night...some OAF...who turned out to be just a hanger on to some other peeps....took exception to Rik..and got violent with him.

It left a sour note over what had been an already dramatic...and tragic weekend ....with Nigel Purdon losing his life.

Although I had left the YPM party before the fracas kicked off....I was incensed by the actions of this idiot who started it all...and really was upset for Rik...who was quite traumatised by the events.

There always seems to be someone with a personality disorder, who is obviously not happy with their own sad life..who takes it out on others who are just doing it.

It was totally out of character for the normal YPM gatherings ...and left a lot of us disturbed.

I consider it a "one off" and am determined that that sort of behaviour is seen in the context of all the wonderful people who make up the YPM class,and Bemsee in general.

So...enough of that!

Back to the racing!

Oops!

I'm gonna have to complete this tomorrow!

Nature calls!.....could be a big job! ohmy.gif

Colonelish

Ha Haaa!

Thanks, youse two's!!

BUT!.....NO interupting my race report please!

I'm on a roll!!

No!...not a bog roll,John! biggrin.gif

OK!

Race 1 on Saturday.....and continuing who my main oppostion would be!

Also lurking on the second row was...the same Andy Ball that I'd sent the wrong way on the motorway!

I'd made out to him that we were gonna be doing some shopping in Calais...then decided against it!

He bought my story! Phew!

ANYWAY!

He's a seriously fast geeza too...and regularly gets a win or a second...whenever he stays on his bike!....for he has a habit of binning it too!

He is a very "100%" all the time racer...and can throw it away going for the win unnecessarily sometimes!!

SO!....with this lot to contend with...and a couple of young doods...namely Tyler "Streaky" Bacon and young Gary Fry,son of Ron.....who have been showing some fast pace recently....the outcome of the races would be velly interesting!

A brief description of La Circutry de Croix...to aid you,dear reader,to appreciate the full extent of my Nobel Prize winning bit of blurb!....

The start finish straight is approx a quarter of a mile downhill blat...ending with an extremely sharp right hand hairpin!...that means the track almost doubles back on itself...(not unlike the hairpin at Pembrey). From there...with the track still going slightly downhill...it's short straight blast of a few hundred metres towards the first long hairpin...a left hander jobbie with adverse camber...that all the fast chaps were taking a wide entry into and apexing really late..'cos there is only a few more metres before you turn into a right hand hairpin....that is the lowest point of the circuit.

All these corners have good overtaking oppurtunities with many different lines available to take ...if needs must!

Coming out of the right hand hairpin....the track starts gently to go uphill...a short squirt again of about 50 metres...and you're upon probably the trickiest corner of the circuit.....going under the bridge across the track...the apex is out of sight until you've commited yourself to a line thru the corner.

It's pretty important to get this right...a lot of peeps...me included!...turned in too soon and found themselves running wide on the exit...which compromised the next corner...which is a long,still slightly uphill,left hander...which you need to get good drive from...because the final corner is yet another nadgery tight right hairpin!....leading onto the start finish straight ,which is the highest point of the circuit!

Again...plenty of oppurtunity for overtakes here...depending on your drive thru the long lefthander....and ..whether you could stuff it up the inside...and do a block pass on another rider!...or whether you have the drive to go round the outside of them as they took a defensive line!

SO.....the start of the races at Croix can be a startling affair....with the fast drag down to the first hairpin!

The "bottleneck" nature of this corner was something I contemplated for a considerable time.

Depending ,of course, on my start....should I take the inside line...which would mean that peeps on the ideal line would be able to chop across me nose?

Should I stay mid track...and get the benefit of both...or none!?

Should I try an outside "sweeping" line...and go round anyone stuck on the inside?

In the end...I came to the conclusion that...because of the nature of the corner...with the thought of 20 plus other riders telescoping together under braking!!....the most prudent course would be the inside line and let them fall over each other on the outside!

I had to get a good start for this...'cos if someone managed to get in front...I would be didctated to by their braking.

I DID get a good start!.....and so did EVERYONE it seemed!!

We all screamed down to the corner as one!!!!

Daz had managed to brake that bit later than me...and scythed across me front wheel to take up first person on the inside line!

FOUR other peeps were on our outside....and had a better line to drive out of the corner!....and Daz and I got our noses chopped off by them all!

I got a slightly better drive than Daz...and we locked elbows as we accelerated down to the next lefthander!

Somehow...we seperated!....and fell in line astern with the four or five peeps ahead!

I noticed Dan Wright ahead...and he started from the third row!!

Fortunately ....no one had gone down at the first corner...so the chase was on!!

Daz is an absolute demon at passing peeps...and he was making up places hand over fist...and was quickly disappearing into the distance!

I knew I had to get past Dan Wright not Wrong pretty pronto...'cos...although he has really re-captured some of the splendid form he had last year.... I needed to show him that he wasn't good enough just yet!!..and to try to do something about the charging Daz!!

Rik, Minkey Lad and Andy were up front and pulling away remorselessly....followed by Daz, Pete Fishwick, Dan and me.

On the second lap...braking hard into the left hand hairpin again...Dan stuffed it up the inside of Fish and...due to his fast entry speed..Dan pushed his bike wide...with Fish having no option but to run wide with him!

Being on the "correct" racing line....I,sneakily, stuffed it up the inside of Fish...as he tried to recover his line to take the next right hand hairpin!....and had the momentum to stuff Dan up the inside into the said righthander!!!!

Yeehaaa!

Two places in two corners!!

Then...going under the bridge....I noticed young Minkey Lad binning it into the gravel ahead of me!......and had one of those moments that,I think that racers only have!

It is a moment of glee at making a place up,mixed with concern for a fellow racer...along with still trying to look after yourself and remembering why we're all doing it!

I saw that Minkey Lad was OK when I came thru the corner next time around...and the red flag hadn't been put out anyway...so..it was still racing time!

On the previous lap...I had noticed that both Dan and Fish had been slower than me through the righthander under the bridge...and thru the long left to the top of the circuit.....so,I just nailed it as much as I could....to break away from them...before we got back on the straight...and they could slip stream me.

It worked!

Didn't hear or see from them again!

I tried to get me head down and make up time on Daz....who I could see ahead...and who seemed to be struggling with tyres...or his fitness..as the race went on.

However...in the back of my mind...or hearing!....I could sense something around me!

I've long given up looking over me shoulder in a race...'cos...I either get scared about what I see behind me!....or....I lose a braking marker or somefink!

My "sense" was soon confirmed!....when John Puk boomed past me on the straight round about lap 4!

Eh!!!???

His 350 LC is mega powerful...and he had obviously been at close quarters when Dan,Fish and I had been dicing...and he was using the power of his bike to drag past me on the straight!

But...he braked a lot earlier for the hairpin at the bottom of the straight...and I sailed past him on the brakes...into the corner!
Then...he accelerated past me towards the next hander...and I got him back on the brakes again!!

And so developed a pattern..that lasted for a good three laps or so...each of us getting ahead of the other three times a lap!!

Because of our very enjoyable dice,however, Daz was not being reeled in...and he was my main target!...even tho John is also ahead of me on points!

Eventually...the boom of John's bike became less and less....as I made more and more of a gap from him going thru the nadgery bits....and he became too far behind to use the power of his motah!

I set my sights on Daz again.....and could see I was catching him....but, we were running out of laps and in my heart I knew I wasn't gonna get him...unless he made an error.

And so it remained to the end of the race!

Didn't have a clue where I finished at the time...but I guessed it must be somewhere in the top 6.

Turned out...I was 4th!

Rik won it....Andy Ball 2nd...and Daz 3rd!

ALSO.....

Rik had broken the lap record for YPM's at Croix held by Tony Rand...by almost a second!

On the third lap..Rik had done a 1:00.440 !!!

The guys a bloomin star!

My best was a 1:01.980......which I was completely chuffed with....'cos I'd knocked off nearly 4 seconds from my times last year!!

I'm gonna skip race 2 of Saturday...'cos I haven't got the results in front of me...which always reminds me of what happens!...but....I think it was similar to race 1...except that John didn't give me such a hard time this race!...Minkey Lad stayed on and finished!....and I finished 4th again!!

And Rik won it again...but didn't improve on the lap record!!

I'll be back later...with more of the Capers of the Colonel from Croix!

And various other stuff!

Phew!

It ain't 'alf 'ot today,Mum! (Sunday 19th June)

Better seek out a nice cool Fosters! smile.gif


Had me Fosters now!...and am well chilled! smile.gif

It's still the hot Sunday.....so...I've decided to stay in front of the poota...and carry on drinking!....so.....when I start getting erratic....I'll blame it on the wevver!

I didn't get why am today...by ignoring me basic instincts....... blink.gif

So....

After the Saturday night bonding session....with all me fellow YPM peeps and others.....and hearing so many stories of derring do....and hearing of the previously talked about Streaky Bacon's probs in the first Sat race and not getting out....stator wire had gone awol...and Nick Griggs putting TWICE as much oil in his gearbox as necessary!....AND numerous other stories that I've completely forgotten!......

It was time for Sunday's capers!

I always try and get as much track time as possible....there's NO substitute for getting laps under yer belt!

Having paid all the entry fees and test day....even if you've had a good day before hand...it's always good to blow the cobwebs out of yer brain the following day..and to make sure everything is kosher with yourself and your sickle.

Being sure of the circuit...yerself and yer bike....is something that is very important.

So....the practice on the Sunday was undertaken....and everything seemed sound in mind,body,soul...and the sickle!

I do like to partake in a drinkie or two...(I think it is all very much a part of club racing!)...and I make sure I have a good time whenever possible!

But....racing is an extreme game..and I always make sure I'm comfortable with myself during the practice...and I'm not gonna be a silly billy.

Forgot to mention about the weather at Kwa!

It had been warm..all during the daylight hours....although it got seriously chilly in the evening.

Our weather station had been predicting some form of rain all weekend...and Sunday dawned rather cloudy...but no sign of precipitation...as the YPM race was called!

Since I'd attained a 4th in the last Sat race....I was in that position on the grid.

The normal suspects were alongside me...with the exception of Streaky Bacon...who had managed a serious recovery in the second Sat race....altough I'm still not sure where he finished!

As far as memory recalls!.....the start was of a similar nature to the Sat ones!....in that...I got a goodun....in fact...I thought I'd jumped it!...but the Authorities deemed otherwise!

But....I had many a peep come up to me afterwards...and say that my Creeping Colostomy Kid moniker was very true!!

Whatever!.......I "got away" with it!

I must say,tho.....that I get confused with what happened in THIS race...alongside the last race on the Sunday!

All I can remember is....

I got a good start again...and employed the same tactic into the first corner as the previous races!

The probability of a bit of carnage at the first turn....encouraged me to still take the tight inside line!

A similar scenario unfolded...with Rik,Andy and Daz....up the sharp end....but,this time...I'm immediately in 4th..and know where I am!

We are all line astern round the circuit for a good three laps....and I feel well comfortable running at the pace the chaps in front are doing.

There's no one trying any moves on me from behind...even tho I know Minkey Boy Hallett (Championship leader) is on me rear ...somewhere!

John Puk's booming LC is nowhere in ear shot...and I;m just trying to keep the geezas in front honest!......HONEST!!!

The situation continues apace through the opening laps...but...Rik,Andy and Daz....are eeeking out a little advantage over me in 4th!

I just KNOW where I'm losing time......(still taking the bridge turn too early...and taking a defensive line into the top and bottom hairpins!)....but I can't seem to change them...for some reason.

Then...on lap 4...I come across Andy binning it out of the right hand hairpin before the turn under the Bridge...(he got on the gas early..and the rear spun out)....but it's an OK kinda crash...and he's completely OK.

"That's Third!"....I scweam to meself!!!

I'm feeling really good....and the circuit is really flowing before me!

Then.....a few laps later...as I feel like I'm catching Daz in 2nd place...coming out of the hairpin at the end of the straight...he suddenly slows big time!....and I drive past him !!!

I thought he'd missed a gear...(later I learned it turned out his fuel line came adrift!)....and I was into second place!!

For the following three laps....I just tried to ride the best I could...and ended up finishing 2nd!!!!!......behind the Ballerina bloke!

YEEEEEHAAAAA!

I was minted at getting another pot!...let alone a second place one!!

Not only that.....on checking the result sheet...it turned out I'd dipped into the 1 minute times as well!!!!!

A 1:00.907.....to be precise!!

Rik had done a 1:00.545 and beaten me by 8 seconds!!!!!

I later looked at the breakdown of all our race times....and Rik had been in the 1 minute bracket for 7 of our 9 lap race....each lap seperated by a mere 0.2 of a sec!!!

I had dipped into the 1 minute times only on me second lap....clearly while I was being "pulled" along by Rik and co!

It was a real education.....not only about what I now knew what I was capable of....but...about what it takes to be a SERIOUSLY good rider.

I's all very well to put a stonking lap in...every now and then...but, to consistently do it....takes a LOT of discipline,self belief and practice!

I'd dipped under the old Tony Rand TZR lap record....as well as Andy and Daz had done.....

But,Rik was under the record for 6 of the 9 laps of the race!!

Needless to say,tho.....I was totally chuffed to bits at getting me second place pot!....AND being only one of 4 riders to get in to the 1 minute bracket all weekend!!

Mind you.....

Streaky Bacon had elevated himself to third behind me in the race.....and I had under estimated his talents for the last one........!

Stay tooned!

Just a minute...Colonel smile.gif

OK!!!

This is me FINAL race reporting...erm....reportage...for the Kwa meeting!!

Now you know why I don't post any race reports!!!

It takes it out of me....just as much as the bloomin' racing!!

WHEN you get to my age.....etc.etc..........

Right!

Having attained a second in the previous biking buffoonery...I was in a position of COMPLETE authority! smile.gif .......except for Rik!! dry.gif

Not only is he good looking...a lovely character....and a rik dik ulously fast racer.....he's.....well...I think he has a body odour problem,actually! laugh.gif

Anyway!

Since Daz and Bally hadn't finished the previous race....I felt it was just between Rik and me for the final race of the meet!!!

Although Streaky Bacon had finished behind me...I hadn't actually had any kind of racing contact with him all weekend!

Dan Wright not Wrong...had finished ahead of the recovering Minkey Boy Champeenship Leader Hallett...and I considered this an omen for the final race!

Life's what happens....when you make other plans.....came to mind...as the last race unfolded!!!!

Although Streaky and Dan Wright....were alongside Rik and I on the front row....all my attention was on Rik!

My plan was to sneak behind him from the start....get dragged along by his Record setting pace.....and do him on the last lap!!!!

Simple!!

Ermmmm...yeah!

Simple me!

Tyler "Streaky" Bacon got the Mother and Father of all starts!!

Although I managed to slot into second .....Streaky was on a SERIOUS mission....and started pulling ahead from the word GO!

I was just trying to keep things under control....knowing that Rik,Minkey Lad and Uncle Tom Cobbley were right up my chuff!

Tyler hadn't featured in my plans at all!....and I admit to having me race stratedgy completely blown!

Later on that evening....at the YPM party...I remember Rik complementing me about my race style....before he passed me and went onto win the race!! biggrin.gif...which I thought was VERY typical of Rik!!!

Yowser!

All I really remember is....Tyler riding an absolute blinder!!...and ending up 2nd behind Rik.....

Dave "Minkey Boy" Hallett stuffing me somewhere!...and ending up 3rd....

BUT.....

Not before Andy Ball and Daz Mowat....(who had started from the back of the grid because of their non-finishes in the previous race,mind!).....had both got past me with two laps to go!!

They were ABSOLUTELY on the bloomin' limit!!!!....and I remember thinking to meself...they are riding out of their NUTS!!!

Daz....as it turned out....produced his fastest lap of the weekend in that race....a 1:00.824.....a tenth faster than I'd done.....but....

He lost the back end of his bike going into the fast lefthander before the final hairpin and fell off right in front of Andy!!! ohmy.gif

I was just exiting the Bridge turn as this occured...and Andy had NO alternative other than running over Daz....but to take a line that took him off the track into the tyre walls!!!

I was just passing as...Andy's bike seemed to "explode" with the impact !...and I was seriously concerned with them both!!!!

It looked like one or other of the bikes followed them into the tyre wall!

The violence of it all was staggering!....and...some of the gravel actually explded across the track..and hit me in the chest!...It felt like I'd been shot!!!

Didn't know where I had finished...and didn't care really....'cos all I was concerned about was how the two fellas were.

It was with HUGE relief...that I discovered that they were both OK...Daz had a bashed knee...and Andy a sprained ankle!

I've never seen a crash in front of me SO violent...it was very sobering!

I couldn't believe how those two had caught me up so much.....I guess I should have more discreet leathers,perhaps!.....

I tell you...

Those blokes have some commitment.

I'm thinking of committing them to a local Loony Bin!!

I'm gonna nickname them...Nitro and Glycerene from now on!

Seperate....they're quite stable...Daz is a Science Teacher....Andy is an Engineer.

Together?

KAPOWWWW!

So neareth...the endeth...of my report!

The only things to say are....YPM parties are THE BEST you can enjoy....ar*e holes aside!

Len Whalin actually cut up his misses duvet....so we could all do ZZ Top impersonations! laugh.gif .....Dan Wright has the WEIRDIST dance style you're ever likely to witness!!

Most of us spent more time rolling around in the gravel of the YPM ghetto paddock party situation...than is humanely necessary....and I left me Val Doonican jumper there!

ALSO.

I can't finish this without paying ESPECIAL attention to me Little Lin girlie....who has shown me such loving faith in what I am as a person...and has shown me that I can do what I can do with me life.

She's a gem...and I love her to bits ...and more!

Oh!

And Small Git Scannell...who's a top engineering geeza...but eats too many Kettle Chips without asking!

It's over now...(the race report)!

As you were!!

Colonel Myself.

P.S.

I finished 4th in the last race...but ..Rik HAS taken me 4th place in the YPM Championship!!

Quick calculation puts...John Puk on 261 points....Rik on 260...and me on 258!

This is for 3rd,4th and 5th.

Minkey lad still leads on 327,I believe....with Daz on 292!!