Back O'the Grid
  Back O' the Year 2006

The year started at Snett in Feb for the race school. I turned up to dish out coffee n soup to the dedicated few who turned up to have their nads deep frozen. It wasnt as cold as the previous year but we are takling a degree or two at most. Only thing that put a smile on my face was watching team "Write off" come to terms with using spoons. All that was missing from that scene was the title music to "2001- a space oddessy", you know the one where the apes discover tool use.

Well it all kicked for real at Brands three weeks later. Ten minutes after I arrived I was holding onto an awning that was threatening to turn into a large kite while being stung by freezing rain. This is what I had taken the day off work for, this is what I had been waiting for all winter. At moments like that you just wonder if theres a cure for the madness we call racing.

On the plus side it was suppposed to clear up for Friday and Saturday was my 50th birthday. I couldnt imagine a better way to celebrate my half century, a figure most English batsmen are unlikely to see, than by skelping round Brands Indy. Tho' all this shows is how little imagination I have. Next year I'll be somewhere warm, drinking some native concoction from a pineapple and having some dusky maiden slap more sunblock on my radioactive lobster complexion.

After struggling with a new engine that wasnt performing as expected and a look at the Sunday forecast I decided the best way to celebrate was to get totally wasted on at least one of the bottles of JD I'd been given as presents, I thnk people are trying to tell me something ,,,, possibly I need to buy more coke? Anyway I succeded in killing off any last resisting brain cells so Sunday was a blur of coffee, ciggies and trying not to do anything big or clever. Tho I did manage to film some race action, which I shall hopefully edit onto a dvd.

Two weeks later the flying Hamster circus rolled on to Snetterton for round 2. I seized my engine in practice and spent the rest of the day tearing back to Ipswich, courtesy of Purple Pete, to get my file lump and assisting Small Paul with the engine swop i.e. making him numerous cups of tea and trying not to get in his way. What happened next is not something I want to relive, nor will Gary "Nitro" Button as he found himself being taken roughly from behind without even so much as "Yo babe" by way of foreplay.

All I could think about was getting back out for Lydden. So as soon as I got back to Snett form a pretty minimal check up at North Norwich I was on the phone. I thought I was calling Ron Carlton to tell him not to sell his bike to Rangi. I was in fact leaving a message on Rangis phone telling Ron not to sell his bike to our token Aussie ,,,,, Rangi called me back and said I was too late but he would sort out Rons bike for me to use at Lydden. Mine was going to need more that a couple of cable ties and a bit of tape. As it turns out it would be July before I was back to form.

I made the trip to Lydden to do a bit more filming. Tho I managed to miss Peter Wrights "rodeo" ride out of the top hairpin. Complete with new bike I did turn up at Croix but my heart wsnt in it as my times showed me. I really did think about quitting after that weekend. But that was, with hindsight, more down to the weather. If I want to freeze my arse off over a cold wet May weekend I only need to go home.

So it was that I finally made it back out in late July at Brands. In true Hollwood style its was a comeback weekend. Back on form and having a hoot chasing "Rab" Rankin - team nobra's latest signing - on my way to a new PB of 59.1. Despite my starting, which has never been brilliant and is now, possibly understandably, utter rubbish. So I have some work to do this winter, but frankly I'm begining to think that practising on my push bike isnt really a viable alternate, I just get funny looks from the kids on the cycle path. Maybe the Murray Walker style commentary is a bit unnecessary. On the plus side I have managed to replicate the handling, steering and braking characteristics of Bally's bike. I lossened off the steering head, disconnected the brakes and let the air out of the tyres. I was aided in this by discovering that the normally top secret Team Nobra "How to build a Race bike" tech manual had been stolen and was being freely distributed by B&Q with every shed bought in store. Litigation may follow, and the inside poop is that B&Q have the edge ,,,,

Passing on Pembury, I saved myself for the Brands GP round and treated myself to the practice day. For a very modest fee i.e. a six pack and my sisters phone number, Rangi followed me around for a couple of laps, then taking the lead to show me the proper lines as it turned out. It paid dividends tho as I scorched, ok modestly singed, my way round in 1:54 a full 3.5 secs of last years PB. Whats more important I had a whale of a time, even binning it in race 1 sunday didnt dent my smile.

Surprise of the season was the inclusion of the YPM at Brands in early Oct. Even more surprising was that only 8 lined up for race one. Race two was even more fun when they reversed the grid and I found myself on pole position. Did me no good at all I still found myself fighting for last place despite setting a new PB of 58.7. I think it shows how the pace has move on over the last couple of seasons when you consider that in 03 that time would have put me in the top 10.

Lydden and the final meet of the year and it was shades of Brands in March. Cold, wet and asking myself why I was doing this, it wasnt any kind of fun. Still the end of season party and prize giving is not to be missed.

And now ,,,,, a roll on the drums please maestro,,,,, The bit you have all been waiting for,,, Yes, its the 'Back O' the Grid' awards for 2006. Gwyneth, the envelope please ,,,,

First up is the "Directional Dysfunction" award and it goes to Gary Button. Having lifted crasher of the year award; Gary explains why that may be, when, in a phone call to me about cush drive fitment it was obvious he couldnt tell left from right. Yes, he is a plumber - so I'd get that boiler checked if I were you ,,,,

Next up we have the award for the "Most dedicated to the Cause" and it goes to "Pastry". Its a "papier mache" model of a tzr made of old tissues I had lying around. He single handedly raised the bar for us all this year by taking a part time job to help pay for his racing. What a guy,,,,,

The penultimate award, the "Pit Crew of the year" goes to the "Purple Flynn's" Pete, Fred, Mallory and Kenny. Primarily for being most welcome guests who brighten up a Sat. eve post race soiree, not for anything big and clever with spanners n stuff. I still laugh when I remember the evening we had at the last full Brands meet and the rather ropey "Singalaong while pissed" version of "American Pie" we performed at Lydden.

The final award for 06 is the team prize and goes to "Team Banana" and especially "Little Lin" who uniquely amongst the paddock inhabitants makes me a cup of coffee from time to time. It also goes to the Colonel, despite the fact that because of his performance I cant point to my advanced years and decrepitude as excuse for my mediocre results. Small Paul also shares the laurels for helping me out when I dont know which bit to hit with the hammer.

Finally, an appeal. Friends I need to talk to you about a truly worthwhile cause that needs your urgent support. Anyone at Brands who caught sight of Rangi would have been moved, tho most held onto their breakfast. So friends please give generously to the "Buy Rangi a new pair of pants" appeal. His old pair are, apparently, a family heirloom, but none of us really want to see the "Heir" looming out of them. Completely put me off my sausage sarnie that did.

So thats it another season over to soon. Next year I shall only be out to play from Lydden and doing the tour rounds only, thereafter probably calling it a day. You can remind me of that in 20 years when I need a catch tank to collect the drool and have done more farewell "tours" than Status Quo and pay for my racing by being the rest home gigilo ;o)

This is George Watson for Back O' the Grid, fishing mothballs from my suit pockets. Rumour has it Griggsy has a new suit, guess Oxfam must have had a sale. See you all at the D&D.