Back  O'the Grid
  Lydden  - Oct 06

Its a hundred and fifty miles to Lydden, I had a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes. It was dark and I wasnt wearing sunglasses. It was also 6:30 in the morning. A time of day I knew existed, but like Arbroath, its not somewhere I'd be by choice. Firstly because I am not a morning person and secondly because being over 5' tall and with opposable thumbs I just feel out of place.

By 10 I had reached Lydden and started to offload prior to a baccy run to Belgium and a dash round the supermarket in Calais to stock up on the bubbly for the WAG's treat. The crossing was a bit rough, the ferry rolled and staggered like a drunk on his way home. I know of where I speak. Unable to resist a cheap laugh at anothers expense I text'd Bally making an unfavourable comparison of the Ferry's progress and the handling of his bike. He had the last laugh for as I sent the mesage my bike was failing scrutineering. Seems my steering head bearings were all but hanging out of it. In my defence I'd like to state that ,,,, that ,,, OK its a fair cop I have no defence. Its even a job that needs a hammer DOH!

By 8:30 pm I was back at Lydden with so much duty free I should have been flying the "Jolly Roger". Thanks here to Rangi, Small Paul and AJ for getting my bike sorted out for me. In gratitude to Small Paul I even let him sleep with me, well crash in my van. My thanks for this and making him his early morning cuppa was a complaint that I snore. Even if I did, which I don't, how he could have told from the noise he was making is a mystery. How can something that small can make so much noise.

Sat morning dawned like a bowl of school dinner cabbage, grey, wet,cold and as appetising. It took a couple of cups of freshly brewed java and a "pain au chocolat" or two to restore normal functioning. Suitably fortified I went out for qualifying. The bike didnt seem to be going at all well but I put that down to me and qualified 23rd on a min dead. If I wasnt going well it may have been down to some pre-race sabotage the evening before. Doug "Wolfman" had, instead of shaking my hand, decided to practise hie "Non teenage Mutant Lycanthrope ninja" death grip on my poor arthritic fingers. As I sagged to my knees whimpering I'm sure I heard him sniggering like "Muttley". Suffice to say the only thing my throttle hand was any good for after that was an area alrady covered by Pastry.

I lined up for race one and sat looking at the damp leaf strewn bit of grid I had to call my own. By the time I got off the line if I wasn't last I didn't care. After a few ragged laps I started to notice it was raining, or at least on me. It then dawned on me that the temp gauge was buried in the red and that "rain" was on the inside of my screen. I'll gloss over the reasons for this but here's a clue - duct tape, wet practice, dry race ,,,, Race two was more of the same. My overheating was solved but now between 8 and 9 1/2 it was  flat and horrible and then kicking in with a bang. thinking I had cooked my plugs I changed them for
Sunday.

Prior to all that was the end of season hilarity. The WAG's were treated to champagne and nibbles as a thank you to them for all they put up with over the year. Lin dragged me over to give a speach to that effect and I was glad I was still in my leathers. Faced with the choice of a bunch of women given access to alcohol and chocolate, and an angry lynch mob. I'll take my chances with the lynch mob.

Congratulations to all who bagged a pot. Especially Gary "Nitro" Button who lifted the "Crasher of the Year" award to see it retained by Team NoBra - they hang out together and lack any visible means of support ,,,, Some controversy cast a shadow over the proceedings when in a shock result "Team Rammit" lifted the "Team NorBar team prize for the best Team called Team Norbar prize". However, the most dubious award of the evening went to Wayne Bond. He lifted the NK Racing prize for the best turned out rd/lc with his dayglo "Shed" 65 being an appropriate number for something that looks like it should be retired ,,,

Sunday morning, and I sat on the step of my van looking at the river crossing the track on the entry to Paddock. Had I been back home I'd have been looking to see Salmon trying to leap Paddock. In the end all I saw were YPM's, and you can boil them for hours and they still taste terrible. So my catch for the day was two tin cans, an old wellie and a 'priller superteen, which I threw back. The day was summed up by Fish who, after race one, asked me if he has "Stupid" written on his forehead. I replied "No it's washed off".

So that's it, 2006, bar the D&D is over. As of next year I shall only be out racing from May to Sept. I'll be at Snett in Feb dishing out soup to all and any foolish enough to turn up for the race school and may fill in with a bit of marshalling. Fiver on your card means you sail through scrutineering ;o) Rumour has it we may be going to Donnington/Oulton next year.

This is George Watson, for back O' the grid. Enjoy a peacefull and prosperous close season and I'll see you all in 07 for another round of the weird and wonderful "Wacky Races" that is the YPM.